Insecure?

I am not aware on how many people that are actually reader my blog. But I guess it doesnt really matter.

I had been staying up late and most of the time, til early morning when the sun rises.

I'm just a ordinary human. I'm not perfect.

Some people had been telling me on how positive am I. Actually I am not.
There's certain time that I feel down. From time to time, I have a moment in which I will think of all sort of negative stuff and depressing myself.

I am unsure of what am I seeking.
I can considered myself as a lucky person since I live a life above average people.
It means, I have family, a boyfriend, some friends, and things that I owned now.

Human; selfish and demanding creature.
Sometimes, I really do wish I have everything, yes, everything that I ever wanted.

Something like, can I keep something or someone, just to myself only?
Can I just live in my own fantasy?
Well, I guess it is just kinda impossible, unless I'm crazy or diagnosed with some kind of mental illness huh.

Sometimes, I really do wonder if I had chosen the right paths throughout my life; every single decisions that I had made.

If you're reading this, I really dont know what should I say instead of sorry.
I just couldnt tell what exactly am I thinking of and worrying about here.

It just, I feel kinda insecure about my life.